Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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