my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just gargled with NyQuil
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
