my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just forgot I was standing up.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
