Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
