Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
