There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
