If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize