the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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