I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
