I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
