I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Can Purell be used as lube?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
