if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
