yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
