i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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