being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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