Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize