..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
