please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize