So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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