So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
