I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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