i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
