Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
