Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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