Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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