i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
there was a trapeze. enough said
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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