You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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