Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
