Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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