theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
