LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I forget how to act sober
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
