Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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