Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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