is your mom at the bar?
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
why didn't you poke me back
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
