he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
