That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
They took my balls.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
