Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
