Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
