I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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