So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
