Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
