real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize