I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
