what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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