On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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