3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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