weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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