Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
