wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
