I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
