3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
