Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
