How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize