She's JV to your varsity
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize