I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
