Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
