It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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