Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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