You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
