UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
