Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
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