just tell him i said nine months
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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