PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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