so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
